Thankful

It's easy to find fault with life, no matter what stage or season I am in. I can groan out of selfishness because Lily didn't nap as long as I wanted her to, complain about this or that (at least inwardly if not outwardly), and just be disgustingly ungrateful. But today I am filled with Thanksgiving for God and the season of life He has me in. My husband works so hard and I'm able to stay at home with our children. This is such a huge blessing! It means that I get to care for Lily, watch her learn and discover, teach and train her. These are not always easy things to do but I'm grateful that I get to be the one to do them. I'm thankful that I can take a break from my housework and have a little tea party with Lily. She claps with delight, oh, how I would hate to miss that. I'm thankful that I can rest my pregnant weary body during Lily's naptime. I'm thankful for a home to care for and organize. I'm thankful that I can prepare meals for Donnie when he comes home from work and that we can spend time enjoying each other's company in the evenings. We are truly blessed!

The present economy, with so many unemployed or barely making it, makes me again realize how our security cannot be built on wealth, a stable income, etc... These truly are sinking sand. At any point a disaster could strike, but one thing remains. The love of God. We are safe in His hands. I'm so grateful that I know Him and that He saved me. What hope!

I put away my fall decor so that I could dust and clean this week before leaving for my in-laws for Thanksgiving, but the house looked so bare. I brought out a few Christmas decorations and put a vintage-gargage sale Christmas cloth on the table. The house seems alive and cheery again. There's a sugar cookie candle burning and I'm glad to be inside, cozy under a blanket. I take little breaks throughout the day. I am 19 weeks pregnant and feeling a lot better. I still have headaches and dizziness at times, but overall I think the worst is behind me.

We found out Friday that we are having a baby girl! It was amazing to see that little baby on the screen and realize she's living within my body! She moved her little legs and arms and blew bubbles for us. :) I am thrilled to have another girlie. I couldn't resist looking through Lily's newborn clothing today, remembering the early days when she was so little and fragile. The clothes seem so small! I'll wait until after Christmas to wash everything and arrange the drawers. I look forward to getting my nest in order.

I need to cut up vegetables for potato soup and do another load of laundry before Donnie comes home. Have a good Thanksgiving week!

Breakfast + Dinner = Brinner

We have a group of friends that gather every couple of weeks. The guys are studying the book Systematic Theology and the women chat and take care of babies. All three of the other gals have had babies within the last 6 months. We usually meet at our home so Lily can go to bed at 8. This week the guys volunteered to make us breakfast for dinner. They made homemade biscuits and gravy, mango and regular pancakes, fresh fruit, banana bread, scrambled eggs with proscuitto, turkey bacon, hashbrowns, etc.... It was wonderful!

They looked rather handsome in my aprons too. :) Thanks guys! P.S. Donnie cleaned up the kitchen too! (You women out there know how nice this is. :)

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I'm drinking a cup of decaf coffee with cinnamon and half and half. Quite warm and yummy on this chilly morning. We've had a rainy November and I still haven't cleared out my flower beds. Ughhh! I think today is the day. I bought some daffodil bulbs last week, so Lily and I will head outside in an hour or so and begin the work. I know it will feel good to get it done.

I spent an hour last evening making lists of things I need to do, make, and buy in the next month. I love planning :). While I was working I heard Donnie yell my name. His muscles were achy yesterday so he decided to soak in the bathtub. Our bathtub has jets and he used some body wash under the faucet. I ran into the bathroom thinking he must have fallen or something. I cracked up when I saw him covered in bubbles! They were overflowing the top of the garden tub. He needed me to turn off the jet switch which is by the bathroom door. It was such a funny sight to see. I told him I wanted to take a picture but he was not too keen on that idea. :) I started thinking about it once we got in bed last night and started laughing all over again. LOL

Princess

Lily doesn't care how she looks, how messy or wild her hair becomes, or that her shirt is stained with red pepper juice. I like this about children. They are just busy being themselves. No awareness of what they look like. This morning, still in her bunny jammies, she asked to put on her princess dress to dance. It's a pink, girly dress that I found at Goodwill this summer. It will probably fit her better in a year or two, but she wears it now over her clothes. As I slipped it on over her head she smiled. I told her she was a beautiful princess. She nodded her head saying, "princess" and running her hands over the tulle skirt. I told her that God tells us we can become His children, a daughter of the King, God's princess. She just stared like she was processing. Then she began twirling and dancing. She put on quite a show, loudly saying "cheese" as I snapped a few pictures.
I caught her looking at herself in a mirror this week, smiling and admiring herself. Very cute and innocent. She likes herself. It made me start thinking about all the messages girls and women are given about beauty. What little girl doesn't feel deep down within that she is special, that she wants to be someone's beautiful princess when she grows up? But few seem to really still believe they are anything special by the time they reach adulthood. Could it be we buy into the message that there is only one kind of beauty, only one personality that is the best, that uniqueness is something to bring to conformity with the norm, that fulfillment comes from possessions or a relationship with a man?
God is the King of Kings, the creator of the universe, and the one who knits us together in our mother's wombs. He loves us unconditionally, faithfully, patiently. He loves who we are. He created our unique qualities. He pursues us and saves us from the dragons. He lovingly confronts and forgives. He desires that we display His glory and fulfill His plans. This is beauty, a quiet spirit yielded to God's will, walking in faith, in true relationship with Him. A woman who knows her purpose and delights in who God made her to be.
This is my pray for my little girl. May the messages that I give her heart always turn her to the King. I pray above all else that she will fall deeply in love with Him and follow Him all the days of her life. I also pray that this mama will have the wisdom from above to guide her to be the princess God wants her to be.

"Listen, my beloved brethren: did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?" James 2:5

A Weekend in November

We had beautiful weather in low 70s on Friday and Saturday. Friday afternoon was perfect for
perusing a few pages of a library book under a tree, that is if your toddler will play by herself. We enjoyed playing together outside for a little bit though.

Saturday my friend Phoebe took me to a cute little town near the mountains. It had a historic downtown with darling shops. (I did a little Christmas shopping.) The leaves were falling like rain. It was so pretty! I ate a soup and sandwich at a little diner, and later in the afternoon we headed to the house of Phoebe's mother-in-law. The house was amazing. They designed and built the house themselves, the outside covered in river rocks. There was even a stone gazebo that can only be entered by climbing in the windows. Very fun and such beautiful scenery with a secret garden and all surrounded by woods. The drive there was my favorite part of the day, so peaceful riding over the rolling hills. We had a very nice day! My husband was so nice to watch Lily for the day so I could enjoy time with a friend. It's always so refreshing.

I have chicken and vegetables in the crockpot, and the smell is making me hungry. Here's the recipe. It's very easy and tasty. The best part is you can make two meals of it- soup the second day.

Crockpot Chicken

2 carrots, sliced

2 onions, sliced

2 celery ribs, cut in 1-inch pieces

2-3 potatoes, quartered

3 lb. chicken or 3 chicken breasts

2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. black pepper

1 tsp. dried basil

1/2 c. chicken broth

Place vegetables in the bottom of a slow cooker and then chicken on top. Add seasonings and chicken broth. Cover. Cook on low 8 to 10 hours or on High for 3 1/2 to 5 hours. (Use 1 cup chicken broth if you cook on high.)

Chicken Soup

Take remaining crockpot chicken and vegetabes (I leave out the potatoes for the soup) and add the rest of a 28oz. box of chicken broth. You may need to shred the chicken with fork and knife. It will be very tender. Add around 2 Tbsp. dried parsely flakes. Add egg noodles (1/2 a bag). Cook until noodles are tender. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Enjoy! I like to take this meal to new moms with the noodles and parsley in a bag so they can make soup the next day. It's adapted from the cookbook Fix-It and Forget-It Cookbook.

A Fall Day

I don't really know how to put pictures throughout my text and I don't have enough time right now to figure it out. :) So here's a brief description of my day: I needed some fun time with Lily today. It's been a rainy week so far but the sun broke through so we headed out to play in the leaves. I tried to get her to lay down with me in the leaves, but she thought I was silly. I loved watching the leaves falling off the trees and blow through the air. I could have laid there all afternoon. It was simply gorgeous!

We each took a square of clear contact paper and stuck nature treasures on it. It was very windy so we ended up with pieces of debris attatched as well, but it was fun. I think I enjoyed it more than her. :) We taped them to our front door so we can see the sun shine through.

She asked me if we could have a "pickwick" (translation: picnic), so we ate lunch on our porch. She jumped up and down and said, "Pickwick, I so excited!" You gotta love the enthusiasm of a 2 year old. :) Then we made brownies and read books until nap time. It was lovely morning.

So, now I need to do laundry, vacuuming, and the such, but it sure was fun to play for awhile.

A New Creation

Yesterday was a hard day. I won't go into great detail, but I felt attacked. I really don't know exactly how Satan works. I've been taught certain things about spiritual warfare, but sometimes I wonder if Christians don't give more credit to Satan to justify their own flesh. Then at other times, I wonder if I'm not fighting the principalities of darkness like I should. Oblivious to what is really going on. I need to study this further.

But, anyway, yesterday it felt like something else was going on beyond my own fleshly tendencies. First of all I was very tired from being up since 4AM, Lily woke up early and then didn't nap at all, I got a phone call that put doubts in my head about someone I greatly love and this continued to plague me throughout the day, and there was other stuff too.....But the good news is there was victory. I was so tempted to crawl into a hole and succomb to despair. I felt like running away! I was so weary. Instead I prayed and cried out over and over again, "Lord, show me the truth. Help me to cling to your hope. Give me strength to make it through this day." This may sound overly dramatic, but really it was that bad of a day. :) God did come through for me as He always does. I thanked Him as I buried my head into my pillow last night.

His mercies are new every morning! Today things are so much better. This feels like a victory in my faith life, especially as I journey farther into this pregnancy. During my pregnancy with Lily I struggled a lot with sleep issues and sadness, and then it got super bad after she was born. I didn't feel good or like myself until I weaned her at 13 months. Much of this was due to sleep deprevation and hormones, but some of it was also a faith issue. It's a rather long story but God delievered me from that pit of despair, brought to light areas of disbelief in my heart and placed my feet on solid ground. When I get very tired it is still a temptation to go back to those dark places, but yesterday I didn't. :) Praise God!

I feel almost embarrassed to write this because I know there are many people out there going through hard day after hard day, illnesses, loss of job, infertility, depression, etc... I wonder if this is what keeps us from truly sharing our hearts, our doubts, our stuggles. The feeling that I should be able to handle this on my own. My life is good compared to.... I don't want to live like that though. The truth is sometimes I struggle. In some ways I feel like I'm just now learning to walk by faith. That's a story for another day. I've heard salvation described as a caterpillar and butterfly, the transformation and new life. A new creation. I was made a butterfly many years ago but I'm now really learning how to fly. I like it. I'm now beginning to understand what freedom in Christ means.

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Home stuff....
I made a nice supper last evening: Ham with cloves and a honey glaze, green beans, and baked acorn squash. It tasted so good to all three of us. I was glad. :)

I love the smells of autumn, especially candles and food cooking. I recently started making my own household cleaners that are safe and "green" and I purchased a few essential oils. Our house gets so dry in the cooler months so I've been simmering water on the stove with cinnamon and clove essential oils. It smells so warm and homey. I love it!

Here's to a new day!
Maria

Clinging to the Hope

So, it's 6 AM and I've been up since 4. Sometimes when my husband snores I think it's Lily crying out. That combined with needing to use the bathroom woke me up. Once I'm up I rarely go right back to sleep. Can I just state that I hate this and it makes pregnancy and motherhood even more difficult. But anyway, I've had some good quality time with my cat Rosie and Jesus. Why is it that the middle of the night (or the early AM hours) bring out the worst thoughts and worries? I have much to be grateful for and my life is abundant, but at night all I can think of are bad thoughts. Then I pray and turn over my fears and worries and seek to find something positive to think on, only to find something else to worry about. Oh brother!
Well, the good news is that I know I am on solid ground. I've never been one to repeat mantras or anything of the sort, but I'm reading Believing God by Beth Moore, and she encourages thinking on/repeating true statements about God to increase faith. So, I've been thinking on these truths throughout the last few days and nights: God is who He says He is. God can do what He says He will do. I am who God says I am. I can do all things through Christ. God's Word is alive and active within me.
I do believe this. God has shown himself to be faithful and true. I don't need to live in the pit of fear, hopelessness, worry, doubt, etc.... Even when pregnancy and post pardum hormones cast a dark shadow over my mind, I know I am in God's hands and there I am safe. I have hope that Jesus walks with me through every trial of life and even gives me peace and rest. What hope to cling to!

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Our church playgroup is having a special speaker today, teaching us about planting spring bulbs and pruning. My flower beds are in serious need of some work! I do love spring flowers, and the work that I didn't want to do in the fall always fails in comparison to the beauty of the colorful flowers after a dreary winter. Always reminds me of the spiritual walk. Weeding out sin, allowing wounds to heal, planting God's truth in our heart's garden, these things take work and discipline, but oh, the rewards are great. The blessings are beautiful!

Daffodils, grape hyacyinths, and lily of the valley are my favorite. I'm going to let Lily help me plant some bulbs this year. I think she will love it. I'm sure it will be a messy adventure. Hopefully I'll get a good night's sleep before tackling that job. :)

A Nice Weekend

We had a nice fall weekend. Donnie helped a family move yesterday morning and Lily and I worked/played around the house while our porch was being worked on. I'm quite excited about our new porch. Hopefully next summer we'll paint it. Donnie and I love big porches and it was one of our "wants" when looking for a house. We use to host a lot of parties in the summer on our porch, but it's been a bit of a hazzard as of late. It's always nice to cross off projects off the mental work list. :)

I was craving a hot dog of all things yesterday evening. In fact I've been craving one for about 3 weeks, so last night we went to Fast Eddies, a local dive, and I had the best grilled hot dog. :) It was all beef and very tasty.

Then we went to a local mall and walked around outside. It was a beautiful evening, and Lily loved walking, running in circles, and jumping. Donnie watched her while I browsed through Anthropologie. Such a fun and inspiring store.

We managed to keep Lily up until 9 PM so she'd sleep until 8 this morning. We've been working on it for the last week and a half. Ha! We've had issues with time changes in the past with her, but this actually worked. I guess I should have done the same with myself since I woke up at 4:45 AM. A bit, okay actually, a lot too early for me, but it was nice to take a peaceful and quiet hot bath and chat with Donnie before starting the day.

Church, homemade lunch, a little nap, relaxing with my family....a perfect Sunday. I'm so thankful for the family God has given me. My husband is super sweet and so good to me. Lily is adorable and extremely funny. I enjoy just hanging out with them and look forward to our new baby being added to the mix. I'm 4 months pregnant now and I'm starting to feel a little better. This pregnancy seems to be flying by compared to Lily's. I guess that's normal with a second pregnancy.

I'm working on a meal plan for the week. I'm trying some new recipes from allrecipes.com. I like seasonal recipes so we're having acorn squash one evening with ham. I've never fixed a ham before, but for some reason it sounds yummy to me this week. I bet it will smell good cooking in the oven. MMMMM

I hope you also enjoy the simple pleasures of life, just a taste of our eternal life with Jesus!

Maria

Ups and Downs

So, yesterday was one of those days when I felt like the worst and best version of myself all within a matter of hours. I took Lily (2 years old) to the library for storytime. We had never been to this particular library before, and I was looking forward to fun for Lily and a chance for me to meet some new moms in the area. I prepped Lily before going into storytime about listening and obeying, but to no avail. She refused to sit on the carpet but instead wanted to run and jump about the room while the other children sat politely listening to the story. After a couple of attempts to reign her in I had to take her to the restroom. She bucked and cried all the way out and I was quite embarrased. This is the part I really dislike about parenting, or should I say about myself, when I feel mad at Lily for something that is really about me. I didn't yell or beat Lily or anything like that, but inside I felt angry at her for being so strong willed, for not obediently sitting on the rug, for making me look bad, etc... I know I am not the first parent to deal with a tantrum. I realize that they happen in the lives of most children (some more than others), and through patience, love, and discipline the child will come out of this phase. (I hope!!!) But, what's bothering me is that my heart is still in the tantrum phase. I want to train Lily without all the angry emotions bubbling up. Sometimes I do but other times, especially the public times, I hate what is exposed in my heart. I so badly want to be a good mom and I love my daughter so much. I know good parenting takes the strength of Jesus. I need Him to cleanse my heart. Each day is new and the tantrum that feels like it will never end can reverse itself into a bubbly expression of joy.

Which brings me to the second part of the day. Donnie's workplace had a fall party for the employee's children yesterday, so I took Lily in the afternoon. I dressed her up in a Tinkerbell costume that I found at the thrift store, and she was bubbling over with excitement about "going to a special party". She pranced around the office like she owned the place, grabbing handfuls of candy for her treat bag and commenting on the other children's costumes. Donnie and I were both bursting with love and joy. Can anyone describe this feeling to someone who doesn't have children? The sheer joy you feel when you child is experiencing something for the first time. She was just too cute! We had such a fun time watching her have a good time.

I know parenting isn't all about parties and candy and warm fuzzies. And, really I don't want it to be. I want the sin of my heart to be exposed. I want my mind to be renewed. I want to be made holy, but sometimes the process isn't too much fun.

So, this isn't really the most uplifting post, especially for my first, but it was on my mind. I've been blogging in my head since I was 12 (way before blogs were even conceived), and I love to read other's blogs, but I've been hesitant to start my own. But, I'm going for it. I hope my blog is a place of inspiration. Mainly I have a lot of happy things I'd like to share, thoughts, happenings, ideas, pictures, etc... We'll see how this goes....